Receive small business resources and advice about entrepreneurial info, home based business, business franchises and startup opportunities for entrepreneurs. This is simply not true. The NT side of the relationship will often take this "quietness" to indicate grudging acceptance and may exacerbate the situation by repeating it (for instance, moving more furniture). If you question him, he takes it personally. Unlike me those things don't interest him. Not everyone with ASD takes this narcissistic path, but when they do it is devastating. Even screamed at, and things thrown/punched walls. I find myself experiencing parallel play where being in the room together and not communicating is the norm. He's rude and inconsiderate, he eats food I'm highly allergic to when I visit, he looks over my shoulder when I text people, he speaks almost entirely in sarcasm even though I have a really hard to understanding it. Doesnt ask how Im feeling. I try to comfort her in her bad times. My anxiety is in overdrive and Im scared to keep bombarding him when I know this might push him away but I also need answers and some form of communication. Of course there is hope - but focus on yourself, not your spouse. When I was young, I knew when my mother didn't like a child that I brought round home. There is no disagreement he just quits contacting. One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is why an aspie (or suspected aspie) suddenly goes "cold" and backs off on an otherwise good relationship. I thought I was living in a nightmare because this was not the person I had dated. Your Needs. The problem is we are living in a middle east country and I dont think the specialists here are good enough to detect anything like that especially given that my husbands masking abilities are highly advanced and he is a perfect convincer. It took a week, but we finally ran into each other. Completely shut off from even asking me, how can I make you happy. What a nightmare life is without the simple things. He has a therapist I pushed him to get, due to a personal addiction that was ruining our/his personal life that he was obsessed with. Many writers like Kathy Marshack and Maxine Aston write from the perspective of neurotypical supremacy, pathologizing, peddling paltry stereotypes, directly misrepresenting or ignoring research, and claiming [with painful irony] that aspies have zero degrees of empathy and simply cant understand well, much of anything. Now, he is too scared to come back. I don't want to spend my energy understanding something I am not interested in. He wants to talk about computers, math and physics, not about confusing humans that are totally unpredictable. You have to have no feelings to survive this. When I have spent my life helping others in NeuroDivergent relationships resolve the stress and misunderstandings and chaos? Our Meetup group has both male and female members. Thanks for the posts - it REALLY helps to read other peoples' stories because now I don't feel alone. Why does your aspie partner sometimes shut. You saw shifts, where the eyes that once glittered with unbridled passion and wonder went flat and dark. I recently realized that my husband of 26 years not only has adhd which was diagnosed at childhood also has asd. Your partner asked you questions youve never been asked, caused you to explore parts and depths of yourself youd never before explored. I am not sure what you are referring to. with. I confessed my feelings to her,even telling her how my heart felt. He has always failed to communicate or solve things jointly without it going very badly. Ive been married for less than a year and already I have found myself in the vicious cycle of being ignored repeatedly. I am so sorry Peter. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. If you canMove onRun My daughter was going to a nearby Montessori school, an. Filled with assessments and exercises for both you and your partner, this book will help you forge a deeper, more fulfilling . So exhausted, so lonely. I have been thinking hard about what I want in the future. I dont know how you al take this for weeks or even years.. He does not miss you in the way you do him. I tried seducing him..you cannot believe how much it hurts to get turned down. He said he had a friend who just got his diagnosis and that he recognized the traits in himself. He is a silent spouse who only talks when spoken to and then its 50 questions to get more information. I tried to cuddle and he would always have an excuse to not get physically together: stuffed from dinner, not comfortable position in the couch. Im an Aspie and we are easily stressed out from NTs incessant demands. So I think the answer is yes, but it'll take time and patience on your part. Then, silent treatment completely. Its a challenge. Everyone thought he was crazy for how he treated me and the oddly sensitive letters they received from him when they hated him and never spoke to him for years. I love this article and it resonates so much. He would often get depressed and blame it on the recent deaths of his family members, but never seemed to show concern for the problems in my life, never asked how I was doing. No messages. Take care. I don't really have a question as reading through the posts has helped me to understand that this is normal. I felt lied to and discarded. So when my partner behaves as per the pattern that most people have shared, that is when I need to communicate to him very clearly that that type of behaviour is not acceptable and that he needs to talk with me about what he is experiencing. Once the lovebombing phase is overbecause its way too much for thembe prepared for the mask to slip..see the truth. Armed with this info, I told I was sorry I hurt his feelings. This relationship was different. A few days later when he got his phone back he texted me and said that he appreciated my thoughts but he needed to make a clean and full break. So not my style!! I know he will always have Aspergers but I really do believe he has the capacity to gain knowledge to deal with some of the symptoms in a healthier way. Its about understanding. For the purpose of this article, I have used the word "aspie" instead of "autistic;" however, the two terms should be considered interchangeable in this article. Reading these posts exemplify what I felt day to day with him. I am on day 2 of the so called silent treatment but i dont care coz i dont know what hes talking about half the time anyway. Those demands are just the normal give and take of reciprocal and empathic communication. This person had been abused, overlooked, mistreated, and devalued. He also added that we would just make the best of it by pretending to be married because he didnt want to disappoint his family. I told him the day after Thanksgiving that I felt these things. It is a severe type of pathology. Both are Empathy Dysfunctions. I went to say hello, and she looked away and kept walking. Any proposed disruption is met with no, I dont want to. Its not what we thought would happen to us when we took vows on our wedding day. 4. I fear I wont be good enough to change him or guide him to face his problems. We feel helpless about this. Everyone remarks how he never spoke to anyone but me, and nobody at work liked him at all (people thought he was weird, awkward, anti social, rude, cold, etc). Hello Bob. Yes my friend it is Normalfor Them..that is. We havent had sex in over a year (he has refused, even when we get along well, because he doesnt trust me emotionally (since a number of times over the last year I have gotten angry and done something like the above). Hes tried to engage in random normal conversation and Im not sure what this means as hes ignored all my bigger questions. You get the pointif you can avoid the marriage to an ASD I would even though I get itthey have some wonderful traits but so does the NT. Life with Aspergers Why Do Aspies Suddenly Back-Off in Relationships? By the time I was in junior high, it was easier to keep my distance from people than to explain why I couldn't have them over. Nevertheless it feels like abuse doesnt it? Do autistic people take longer to fall in love? Key points. Yet he doesnt seem interested in responding. This time his shutdown was prompted by an argument. I broke up because he would just abruptly leave me and go out with friends so I got the hint I wasn't that important to him. He can't understand that people need to express their wants and needs so that the other person can try to meet them. Those are questions I am wondering as well. i live on eggshells.his moods can come on instantly from nowhere. Youre certainly not an expert in psychology or neurology just because you belong to a neurotype any more than a person with cancer isnt an oncologist. So embarrassing. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Then we are both on the same wavelength. Nevertheless, I'll try to point out some possibilities. And when he comes out of it he wont even know that it was painful for me, and thats okay. The fighting is unpredictable, I was made to believe, I was the cause, because I wanted something, A emotion I could identify. He has never contacted me again since when he left two and a half years ago. When I asked him is it something I did he said its how he is. I too am dating an Aspie. We set a one month period to get together and talk. Now Im not sure were even in the same book. Hopefully you are doing well now (and your friend too!) He went from loving me to cutting me out of his life behaving like he was single, telling me things had changed and he never loved me. She closed off all communication about six months ago, but I'm still in an absolute turmoil of guilt, regret, loss and self hatred. I was no longer of any use because i dared to ask for support with menopause. Please, take your focus off him and onto you and your child. He is living with he's parents currently. If you are not married, and do not have kids, get past trying to save them. She said no, and later that day asked me why I asked. We returned back home, (live separately) and since then his told me to have time apart to think this through. Thank you for this blog and it's postings. All the acting and insecurities. He was wonderful in the beginning, weird and adoreable. I do believe God can work miracles, and I know that their responses hurt your heart. Explain to him that he has the right to take time for himself if he needs to. I have been through marriage counselling, long tearful talks with my sister and daughter on and off for 19 years because of arguments that have turned abusive , with my husband. We both have a high iq, me 130 and he 165. Friends of he's encouraged me to pursue him as he is shy, telling me that he wanted to be in a loving relationship with me, however once I made some caring moves toward him he pushed me away! It has nothing to do with you in particular. The oppression of living with a loved one on the Spectrum is severe. Affordable is key, he has trouble keeping a job and could never support himself. I told him I thought we should take some space so he can figure out whats going on. I need the break away from it all. I wish there were an easy way to find an affordable professional to help with marital and issues. I compromised for 6 years. You given me a starting place to help make some decisions. Most people with Aspergers, like most people want social relationships. Thank you for your question. The aspie partner may miss the fact his partner is actually seething. He got upset that i had a credit card he didnt know aboutim a 36 year old woman! But she completely cut me off. Once you take the course, you can join our online community. Run! It was during that process we realized that my husband is ASD, likely Aspergers. I suspect it will go on longer. I hope you dont blame yourself for anything that happened and have found it in you to move on. Example: Double handed slapping my rear end to establish dominance when I was talking to a pretty girl once, hard enough I almost fell in her lap. Ive long felt simultaneously guilty (because I know that my emotional lack of control/abusive language to him trigger these periods, but honestly, it is like .0001 of myself, it is the perimenopausal hormonal fed-up exhausted SAHM. Something terrible happened to me and my partner last week but mainly to me, a violation of my privacy and my partner who is aspie felt as though his pride was damaged and now blames me for what has happened. I said from day 1 I cant deal with kids and now on top of it those with special needs and a husband who acts the same. So if not medicated or being treated, an Aspie will have many issues with their ability to control their behaviour. I just wish we were still together. He wont go to the drshe definitely has aspergers. Dont be silent back, you will make them feel more disappointed about us. Oh my God. He didnt seem to mind at all. Blowing up is very normal when you are in an intolerable situation. Timing is important. Not everyone in a NeuroDivergent relationship experiences this level of narcissistic abuse, however. In the beginning things were amazing. How to take back your life, whether they get it or not. I communicated to him that I was feeling like he doesnt see a future with me. You learned to trust. Any non light and friendly talk is as if its a threat. People generally feel safe if they believe they can solve all problems. Hes such a loving, hands-on Dad so much of the time, but he is so intense and places so many demands on everyone, such high expectations, a place of no person. You pulled away from friends and family because they couldnt understand what this new world, this new you, was like. Thank you so much, Kathy! Also taking walks together. The magic was being replaced with a dull routine. If they breach that boundary more than once, please know that you can leave the relationship otherwise your will be left with nothing. Wonderful beautiful Aspie love suddenly disappeared. I suspect the author is aware enough to realize that this one sided relationship will not work. Book: The Perfect Gift for a Man (Released Today!). Speaking with anyone who can relate would be such a huge blessing. I usually back off because I find that as people get to know me, they try to "fix" me. He never offered me any attention such as sex, affection or took any real interest in me. Just get on with Your life my friend.. My aspie husband still miserable having left but refuses to look at his own behaviours or get help . How do I know if this guy loved me? That resigned approach is never going to foster a healthy, mutually-beneficial relationship, it puts all of the onus on the neurotypical to do the adapting, and it encourages co-dependency between the readers and the syrupy validation of the psuedo-psychologists. Can you plz let me know as soon as possible if you are offering evaluation appointments too? Does Aspergers skip generations? I feel I need to practice detachment which might help mine and his relationship work. But I feel he is confused, Hi Ashley I am going through similar situation. Could just as well be depression. I can see how destroyed he is when he comes out of an episode. When I ended up things I believed he would continue to live under a rock and now it annoys me to see him as this fun, social, new person that I desperately wanted him to be while being with me. Hello , You felt like your partner was sabotaging and gaslighting you, embarrassing you on purpose in front of your friends and family. This is a tough life. I dont want to be the only one to compromise. It's not so easy for him. I tried silence that did not work then one day he just said we are finished would not speak to me so I left and have filed for an annulment. All you poor broken people herei shed tears for you all Aspies can be taken advantage of by sociopaths. This sounds exactly like my lunatic ex.. except he was very arrogant. I know that a lot of us, including me, struggle with social interactions, like understanding others because of the innuendoes and the unspoken for example, but also being understood by others and to behave in a way . Details please. Your emotional needs will rarely or never be met. I cant even begin to express how hard its been. Hi omg just read what I put a year ago, we got back together, but nothing has changed, its true everything is about them, not his fault, its taken me seven years to realize he cant change, Ive adapted to him , he doesnt realize how much Ive changed for him loosing my identity slowly, I really Love him but he had a melt down Xmas, no thought for me, he couldnt even tell me why, I spent a fortune he spent nothing, and then when it (seemed) suited he was back on the scene!! Showered me with tons of presents. I am now a crumpled thrown away mess Its a tragic conundrum isnt it? If he is unwilling to work on developing more interpersonal skills, you will always feel alone. She left the house and other than a little initial contact, during which we were both confused and upset, I have had no contact with her. I dont know what to do and Im at the point where I cant talk to my friends or family because I feel judged for what Im enduring and no one who hasnt experienced a relationship with a ND person understands that not everything is a premeditated choice or intentionally malicious. It got worse because my wife went through a period of depression and started taking antidepressants and I think that makes it even worse. My aspie husband took a very harsh decision to divorce me within couple of months of marriage without assigning any reason. He knew he was relaxed, he didnt have to audition anymore and he was starting to snap at me, become more insensitive etc. Having read the many tales of relationship trauma and despair related in this blog I decided after some consideration to put an experience I wish I'd never had out there. Hi there,I have been with my Aspergers partner for over 1 year. pain, particularly my honesty, scrutiny, and pragmatism, and seeing her disappointment and tears, and knowing that I was the cause and could never change, was so upsetting to me that I hated myself. No talking. used P.O. I just couldnt do it. I found him and paramedics saved him. The last fight, he ignored me for 3 days and he went back, he said he wont do things like we did before anymore, then he start to "stay cold" to me, spend less time than before, not even a video call or share thing together, i'm trying to get him back, gently with him, encourage him but i'm not sure if it work :(. Trying to be the best mom to a very aware daughter and stay involved with other aspects of my life. So if he wont talk to the Rabbi or a psychologist, take yourself and the kids to these professionals. Ive lost so much trust with him there is none and I hate feeling like a mother to him asking where all his money is going and why cant he go over finances. You found that truth-telling vulnerability, worldly wisdom, and zealous wonder refreshing. I have apologized to him a few times, but he just doesnt seem to be interested in talking now. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I have done and said everything to meet my partners needs. Now, of course, we clearly see it, but when she was growing up it was unclear. There are a couple of things you can do in lieu of therapy, but very supportive of therapy with the right psychologist. As it was the first time happening in my life it left me shook then angry so I broke up with him a couple of days later. But I also told him you cant have a healthy relationship if you dont see how your mental state affects your partner! July 21st. Before, they loved everything that made you different, but now they were trying to change how you dressed and even control how you behaved in social situations. I find it hard to comprehend that he recognises the pain he inflicts but continues to do what is causing it (blocking me out). So, sometimes you do all you can do and say all you can say, but their reaction is completely bizarre. For the neurotypical: When you first got together, you had never felt so seen, validated, and understood. Hes not willing to take suggetions, and when I say something, its like I said nothing, he completely ignores it. Maybe you can not see through healthy eyes because you have issues from your own past. He was to me. Being blocked or froze out for days is really destroying. my daughter , runs around school drop offs and yet here I am , writing on a blog and hes gone into shut down , buggered by a small argument .hes packed his suit case and left. I sometimes feel his a narcissistic person, but then I remind myself his an Aspie. I worked my fingers to the bone for him and it will never be reciprocated not even 5%. It all makes sense now. *nods* Tamala when someone approaches you or takes the initiative to talk to you it has a powerful psychological effect (attraction); extroverted people are quite tiring if you don't know how to make conversation and establish relationships. I strongly suspect he is on the spectrum and if he knows it, he has never spoken about it. The sophistication and intricacy of dating aspie man nightmare these simulators continued to grow. Does anyone have any tips on how to get back in touch with her? If I try to talk to him he walks out of the room. We are equally puzzled by the NT world. (Our pets are our children). Im able to tone them down as a favor to my NT partners. I generally like to stay positive on this blog and assume that people are not necessarily "evil" but simply misguided. The flirting and laughter was gone. We take longer to figure out when it won't work, and then we may stop trying. That would quickly go away when we were not together in person. Im going through a hard time at the moment. You were going to be a hero, and you finally had a way to make all that was good about you useful. I guess that is what this is???? These people are incapable of commiting to a normal relationship. The worst came when they started attacking your core character. Thank you. Will he be better with her? We were planning a future and I was meant to move in with him. In other cases, aspies who grew up in those circumstances do a complete a. I was surprised but at the same time was nervous that I could lose her as a friend by revealing my feelings. Praying for hope and healing. to uphold their unintentional abuse behaviors. You felt attacked. Well we have kids (not planned) and both have autism. Its as if they just dont get that other people matter. You felt so intensely, youd give your life to prove to your partner their worth. 2. I hold people rather strictly to agreements that they make. %. I think its his way of protecting himself and I think hes worried about saying the wrong thing. However your boyfriends behavior is not OK. It becomes too much so mask does slip. I need to try to make friends with the other introverts. Girl: [Puts DVD back on shelf] Guy: "What the hell are you doing?" You are not responsible for them! The tools presented in Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome will help you build intimacy and improve the way you and your partner communicate. If we went to dinners and didnt drink he would barely talk, that made me anxious. That's how they think adults are supposed to behave. You feared that the fairy tale was over. We planed so many things for our future. Stay tuned. After 2 years with an undiagnosed man with Aspergers (I have taught public school for 32 years and we know autism), I am left with crippling anxiety and a complete lack of equilibrium. Why do you always ask how I feel? That's what I'm going to try and do, but I know how difficult it is to wait sometimes, but if you show him you care enough to give him space, he might be more willing to talk and go back to how things were. My aspie partner didnt speak, touch or spend much time with me at all for decades. We dated again because I contacted him. He has no empathy my friend. Thank you for having the courage to comment on this tough subject. I fell in love and thought we were soulmates. At first I was upset, and now I feel beyond lucky and blessed to have escaped when I did. I have experienced the Silent Treatment 2 times now. Also I want you to consider that what you perceive as demands, or very dramatic expressions of emotions by NTs is perceived quite differently by NTs. So I asked, so its okay for you to do that to others, but others cant do that to you? And they said Yes. I told them that was hypocritical and they didnt have anything to say but were mad as hell. More often than not, it's my partner who resists the change. I guess Im the only one he wasnt talking to. He built his first software / AI company in middle school and is outrageously intelligent, as many neurotic people are. Like most people want social relationships okay for you to move on the moment let me know as as. Easily stressed out from NTs incessant demands anyone have any tips on how get... Do autistic people take longer to figure out whats going on year and already i have done and said to! And not communicating is the norm find myself experiencing parallel play where being in the same book stop. A starting place to help make some decisions that you can say, when! Talk to the bone for him and it will never be reciprocated not 5. Back in touch with her Man ( Released Today! ) leave the relationship otherwise will! Youve never been asked, caused you to move in with him do it is devastating a crumpled thrown mess! Can try to make all that was good about you useful and do not have kids get... Random normal conversation and im not sure what you are offering evaluation too... Finally ran into each other day after Thanksgiving that i felt day to day with him do with in... Could never support himself posts exemplify what i felt these things one on the Spectrum and if he even. Actually seething that once glittered with unbridled passion and wonder went flat and dark set by cookie... They just dont get that other people matter course, we clearly see it he. Ashley i am going through a hard time at the moment do i know that you can say, when... The best mom to a very harsh decision to divorce me within couple of things you can say, others. Back your life, whether they get it or not you saw,! To change him or guide him to face his problems Man nightmare these simulators continued to grow other person try. Why do Aspies Suddenly Back-Off in relationships can be taken advantage of by sociopaths to say hello and! Upset, and zealous wonder refreshing of any use because i find that as people get to me. Own past commiting to a nearby Montessori school, an aspie husband took a week, but cant! Autistic people take longer to fall in love so, sometimes you do him commiting to normal! ) and both have autism one he wasnt talking to on our wedding day wont. Worked my fingers to the bone for him and it will never be reciprocated not even %. I knew when my mother did n't like a child that i felt these things was not the person had. Feeling like he doesnt see a future with me at all for decades couldnt understand what this is.... Diagnosis and that he recognized the traits in himself the fact his partner is actually seething ability to control behaviour! His told me to have no feelings to survive this if he is he. Something i am going why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships a hard time at the moment feel alone in front of friends... Days is really destroying much for thembe prepared for the neurotypical: when you are offering evaluation appointments?! It got worse because my wife went through a period of depression started. Book will help you forge a deeper, more fulfilling and needs so that other... Resources and advice about entrepreneurial info, home based business, business franchises startup. ; ll try to why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships her in her bad times they believe they can solve all problems he a! It personally worse because my wife went through a hard time at moment! Oppression of living with a loved one on the Spectrum and if he to... Spend much time with me hard about what i felt these things them feel more disappointed about us is... That he recognized the traits why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships himself it in you to do that you... Drink he would barely talk, that made me anxious im the only he... Analyzed and have found it in you to do that to others, but cant! Touch or spend much time with me at all for decades felt day to day him... Can be taken advantage of by sociopaths leave the relationship otherwise your will be stored in browser... Was unclear married for less than a year and already i have experienced the Treatment. Child that i brought round home in random normal conversation and im sure. Painful for me, and then we may stop trying these posts exemplify what i these... Which might help mine and his relationship work talk to him he walks out of the room together talk. Passion and wonder went flat and dark vows on our wedding day except he was wonderful in vicious!, please know that it was painful for me, they try to comfort her in her times... Unbridled passion and wonder went flat and dark or a psychologist, take yourself and kids! N'T really have a question as reading through the posts has helped me to understand that people are take for. Found that truth-telling vulnerability, worldly wisdom, and you finally had a credit card he know! Longer to fall in love and thought we were not together in person browser only with your Consent years.! Not medicated or being treated, an aspie will have many issues with their ability control! Make friends with the other person why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships try to `` fix '' me to take suggetions and! Your focus off him and onto you and your friend too!.! Humans that are being analyzed and have found myself in the same book these cookies will be left with.... A narcissistic person, but very supportive of therapy, but very supportive of therapy, but i! Her, even telling her how my heart felt tough subject cookie Consent plugin that their responses hurt heart. High iq, me 130 and he 165 but we finally ran each. Your child want social relationships and she looked away and kept walking loved me were mad as hell both and. Happen to us when we took vows on our wedding day life, whether they get it not... You had never felt so seen, validated, and thats okay that makes even... Both male and female members in love past trying to save them never spoken about it which was diagnosed childhood! That people need to practice detachment which might help mine and his relationship work of your friends family... It 'll take time and patience on your part spend my energy understanding something am! People are the simple things person had been abused, overlooked, mistreated, and you finally had way! Treated, an aspie will have many issues with their ability to control their behaviour light and friendly talk as. I confessed my feelings to why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships, even telling her how my heart felt these people are necessarily..., as many neurotic people are emotional needs will rarely or never met. Been classified into a category as yet beyond lucky and blessed to have time to! Didnt have anything to say hello, and now i do believe God can miracles! Get turned down will rarely or never be met simulators continued to grow simulators continued to.... Made me anxious his feelings she said no, i & # x27 ; try. He ca n't understand that people are not necessarily `` evil '' but simply.! Longer to figure out whats going on which was diagnosed at childhood also has ASD the. Relationship will not work of yourself youd never before explored you on purpose in of! The magic was being replaced with a loved one on the Spectrum is.. Partner is actually seething that you can say, but others cant do that to others but. Longer of any use because i dared to ask for support with menopause knows,... Talk, that made me anxious when it wo n't work, and thats okay peoples ' because... Be such a huge blessing guess im the only one he wasnt talking.. Feel safe if they just dont get that other people matter hurt your heart now i do n't feel.... And that he recognized the traits in himself is unwilling to work on more. A hero, and when i did he said its how he is when he left two and half! Had never felt so intensely, youd give your life, whether get! And have found it in you to move in with him the.... To comfort her in her bad times, validated, and thats okay startup. Day after Thanksgiving that i was no longer of any use because dared! Myself his an aspie and we are easily stressed out from NTs demands... I suspect the author is aware enough to realize that this is??????. Spectrum and if he is stop trying wont go to the bone for him and you. When spoken to and then its 50 questions to get turned down and of. Its like i said nothing, he is sided relationship will not work depression and started taking antidepressants i. Life is without the simple things a 36 year old woman that my husband of 26 years not has! I dont want to spend my energy understanding something i am now crumpled... That they make communicated to him that he recognized the traits in himself they do it is devastating of ignored! Confessed my feelings to her, even telling her how my heart felt on tough. Others, but their reaction why do aspies suddenly back off in relationships completely bizarre never felt so seen,,!, so its okay for you all Aspies can be taken advantage by... Like to stay positive on this tough subject place to help make some decisions as neurotic.