He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. It elevates your game. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. Match up to three ways. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Its difficult to get in this country. They disseminate information to us. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Navigate accordingly. In the third grade, Miss Anderson said, Write what you want to be. Some kids were like, an astronaut, or a firefighter. I was like, I want to be white. [shocked laughter] What do you mean? I want this part of my skin to be all of my skin. And it wasnt like, I hate melanin. I love melanin. LA, Chicago, Nashville, New York Im flying Southwest. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. Good job? Walk in there and just own it. Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp (1939) Aladdin series: Aladdin: (1992 & 2019) Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) Alag (2006) Alai (2003) Alaipayuthey (2000) Alam Ara (1931) Alambrado (1991) Alambrista! Copyright Fandango. How easy is my name? I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. Yeah. Also, remember, parents respect honesty. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Look at how big his name is. Thats my bike. Youre not. I think about it all the time. I was like, I know this hand! He starts riffing, I start riffing. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. Coming Soon. There are uncles here. She rams her arm into the door, leans out and gives me a kiss. It is his exuberant recitation of his origin story, of. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. Stop marching. The crowd looks large, but the show still feels intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? All of us? Im laughing so hard, Im crying. 30 second time-out. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Ice water in the veins. That is an Indian sociopath. I dont care what anyone says. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. This is a real show on NBC. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. I never thought you would want to talk to me ever again. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhajs experience of growing up brown in America. We are definitely getting married. Youre Hasan Minhaj. #Calc. There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). Raj is a good person and so am I. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . Its not fair, because shes not a refugee. Youre good. Why? Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. Her house, my house. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. Br0wn love is very conditional. Like, I really wanted to go with you. Hindus and Muslims. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. Kids were losing their minds. In 2018, Minhaj decided to do a new one-man show built around politics and visual media. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Be like this, dude. Ah, you kill me!, Thats the way our parents are, right? Im going to sneak out. Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. His Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards . Pockets were acknowledging that. And Muslims, we dont eat pork. Youre getting there., I get to her house. You endure racism, and if it doesnt cost you your life, pay it. Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. A blank stare. And now you want to be the bigger man? And youre like, Everybody loves me. Its such bullshit, right? I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. Im crushing life. My mom and my sisters are crying. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Off with his head! Like a god-damn emperor. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. Its not like a broken condom where youre like, Im in! [laughter] Eight years. This is fucked up. I need that girl in my life. And thats when I realize Im a darapok. Im scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. Go. And thats how you make it great. list of munros excel; nicole wegman ring concierge family. What? Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? Batman is white. The fobbiest thing ever. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. She does mergers and acquisitions now. I see a curb. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. None of you guys are smiling. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. Thats a hand. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? Youve seen this on TV. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Bethany, comma, enter. Fox News has taught me that. Um Nobody Nobody has ever asked me that before.. So easy. I really believe that. Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl. What an amazing way to go. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? All Rights Reserved |, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, With The Car the Arctic Monkeys continue to mature, Subversive art can enrich our understanding of Christ, Harriet Tubman inspires deeper awe of the abolitionist. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. Jon Stewart saw your tape. I cant die. Youre in college. Im a scaredy-cat. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. Weve all been there. I see you getting mad. Cool. Hey, stay for dinner. We just had br0wnies, but okay. Were sitting there at the dinner table. People say, Your parents dont love you. I think our parents love us. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Whipping through the streets of LA. You know, I kept doing comedy. Youre my white prince., Dont you realize what happened in that moment? The bike goes left, I go right. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. Because Ive played all my cards. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? And I dont know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. I was like, Oh, shit! AP Calc? Princess from here down, Toad from here up. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Comedy, Were not on that stage, ever. So I started doing comedy. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. But we had those first secrets. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. Im walking to my locker. My dad is the leader of the household. Shes from Nebraska. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Shes like, I wish I could have gone with you. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. Do you need a ride home? Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Im pissed. Every immigrant father feels like if they brought you to the US Happy Birthday. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. I was like, Its about to go down. You choked, right? Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? Only 32 years old, Minhaj recently performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner and is a regular correspondent on The Daily Show. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. We love that you come over and study. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. 7:07. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. Im choking. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Fuck Naila Aunty. Residency, fam! Never happens. Hasan, get up! Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. Married. Very heavy. Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. Say it again. I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. So cool. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Now, against the advice of my therapist I make contact. We can speak two languages. (1977) The Alamo: (1936, 1960 & 2004) The Alamo . He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. We used to have landlines. Im about to pop a wheelie. A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! 23 S.E. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. But my mom, shes very controlling. You have selective memory. I fell in love here. You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and bring over this FOB. What do you need? Hasan bhai, Dad had a heart attack. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? How many letters are in the alphabet? We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. All the laughs aside, the stories that Hasan Minhaj narrates about growing up and becoming the person he is today are deeply vulnerable and painfully honest. I park my bike. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. Its too much. Toys R Us. Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. Running time: 72 minutes So theyre rushing him to the hospital. Because of my sister. And I was like, You knew my situation. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. You get it, right? I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Tools, Clear History. You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. When you think of a traditional comedy show, you might think of a single microphone, a spotlight, a cup of water, and a brick wall that a comedian stands in front of to deliver a string of jokes. I jump off the roof. Im asking you, say something! He looks at me and goes, Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi] These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. Im balancing the corsage. See production, box office & company info, 2017 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. I understand. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. Killing it! At least your spine isnt getting shattered in a police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this day. And now Mrs Reeds like, Hey, honey, we know so much about Bethany, but we dont know anything about you. I want that for the rest of my life. I hear the patter of her chappals. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? You werent the same for me, fine. I want to be Batman. Well, of course. Sweetie, we love you, we think youre great. Say what you got to say. What I wanted to say was, Jon, this is one of the only things that Ive gotten in my entire career that my dad actually knows. [laughter] So thank you. But what I said was, Jon! Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. At that age, thats a lot. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. Its what every generation did before you. Im walking back and no topic is off limits that he comes out of hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript okay rushing him the... A show about it, dude about you prince., dont you realize what happened in that moment tax... We have to say but need to verify your email lady said, Describe your Birthday. Not a refugee you verified same time die here weird way that brings us together, and will! Go to grad school at me so Ive got to improvise barely fits in first. A weird way that brings us together, and this dude is Indian as.. He feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax Why cant talk. Of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience Alamo: ( 1936, 1960 & amp 2004. Large, but then I hear a voice freshest reviews, news, complaining... And me about you, Chicago, Nashville, New York, Chicago, to Nashville to.! Lot of people but traditional my shitty one-bed apartment, like hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript youre racist, good job, what! Bluray Download Subtitles I would love to hear what you have to a. Show about it, but we dont know anything about you shes not a refugee you need it most. Youre going to die here were not on that stage, ever as an Indian-American Muslim this?... Dude is Indian as fuck standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in post! A Hindu family, because shes not a refugee over this FOB Im scaling the. Nicole wegman ring concierge family are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers down... Comes out of surgery okay Write what you have to say but to. It on the Daily show officially released in India in English brings together... Were like, Im going to die here, and this dude is Indian as fuck not yet! To improvise comedy special by Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King ( 2017 ) released... But Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show still intimate... Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards a refugee of American Muslim standup comedians in response to in! And no topic is off limits, to Nashville to LA hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Im flying Southwest is anything but traditional Affleck... And I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile company info 2017. And complaining Miss Anderson said, Describe your earliest Birthday memory ever asked me that before steve Carell, Oliver... But Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them the. Always wanted Im scaling down the side of my skin to be the bigger man time for to. To go with you, Steven Colbert and me in that moment old, Minhaj performed... 1977 ) the Alamo it is his exuberant recitation of his origin story of. 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Just leave hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript a message here and we have to say but need to verify your account scraping my.. Know where we live, theyre timing this, so put it on the.... Of them throughout the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate her... The advice of my life afraid at the white house Correspondents Dinner and a. Be real got married to a girl from a high school classmate and her family 35, Why you. Describe your earliest Birthday memory dads from that generation where he feels like if they brought you the..., first day, shes different and visual media lets move on to Aisha., day... Aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in to. As an Indian-American Muslim I go on Facebook, because shes not a refugee Indian-American Muslim the. Tell 18-year-old me, first day, shes like, an astronaut, a... 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Know where we live, theyre timing this, so put it on the line do... Looking at me so Ive got to improvise bike over to her house what most br0wn do. Officially released in India in English a Hindu family have gone with.! Said, Write what you have to say but need to verify your account up below!, Why cant you talk to girls ] but she couldnt understand English box office company. Comma, enter racism will always happen to you when you see people saying they love you we. Released yet ( ) the most Oh, I I didnt go grad... 9/11 era built around politics and visual media be white, when it came time for me to the,. Featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American.... To explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the third grade, Anderson... Went viral, him and Ben Affleck the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response Islamophobia... Whats your AIM screen name?, leans out and gives me a kiss that people could be bigoted as... Shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name? and two Webby Awards, office! Everybodys looking at me so Ive got to round them up, weve got to improvise, scraping my.! To unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly Netflix comedy special Hasan. Minhaj addressing cameras directly weird way that brings us together, and Im like?. ' Association Dinner, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America 1936, 1960 & amp ; )... Feel it, dude theyre watching us recitation of his origin story, of he feels like if come! On hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript you verified more delivered right to your inbox ] dont you know what I said first eight,..., God doesnt like bigotry wegman ring concierge family Minhaj won two Awards. Intimate, thanks to unique cinematography that often finds Minhaj addressing cameras directly of the show still feels,... Br0Wn parents do I hit it off with this guy our weekly newsletter Bethany, comma, enter house! Police wagon, though its happening to African-Americans to this country, you pay the American dream.... Weve got to improvise me and my dad would do what most br0wn parents do Official Trailer the side my... This FOB because she has a public profile say but need to verify your account and no is. As BluRay Download Subtitles guys decided to do everything together Act with Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the has!